Didn’t I just address this concern in the above item? So I need to repeat myself. The columns arrive fully assembled, with one face temporarily set in place. This temporary face is removed on site and the column slips around the post and the missing face is re-mounted. The columns are secured to the posts using the provided screws and pre-bored holes. For steel posts, it is necessary to use either wing-bolts or threaded spread bolts set to the pre-bored holes but requiring you to drill through the steel post on site.
Okay, maybe I didn’t cover it quite so thoroughly in the above item. I apologize.
* That’s okay. There must be a lot of stress associated with a custom-build type company that caters to the whole country.
Stress? I experienced stress once back in the mid-80’s on one of the upper slopes at Squaw Valley in the Sierras during a total white-out blizzard. Anyone with a brain was down at the lodge, which would explain why I was not among them. It was so blinding that I could not even see my skis. I had to negotiate 3 miles of a blue-diamond run in white-out conditions and throughout this odyssey I told God that I swore I would be a believer if only he got me down alive. This was a hedging assumption that such a God was listening and available to lend a hand to someone who has throughout his life distrusted organized religion and the assumption that man needs an organized religion to steer them toward good and away from evil. As if Man were incapable of knowing one from the other without the dictum and ultimatums drawn from doctrines such as Bibles and Korans and ranting, fist-waving evangelicals.
Standard Disclaimer: The above rambling rant is an opinionated offering by Adlai Means and does not necessarily represent the views of the incorporated entity of Prowell Woodworks.
* Well, apparently you survived. So did you keep your promise to God?
Promises of such a nature are less accountable than those between real people. You are stressed. You say things. Fortunately there were no witnesses. I survived, yes. A reprieve to live another day, another decade, and for that I am thankful. But thankful to whom is the eternal question. Anyway, you’re only allowed one question and you’ve had more than that. The next questioner, Number 5, has I believe been waiting patiently for some time while you chat away as if we were old pals.
* Hi, this is Number 5 and I don’t mind. Really, I rather enjoyed your story about God.
* Hi Number 5. This is Number 4 and don’t you agree that Charles should just tell stories and forget abut these boring business FAQ’s?
Your last reprimand, Number 4. One question only. Now let’s listen to what concerns Number 5 has regarding the columns.
* How do you know, Mr. Prowell, that is wasn’t God who saw to it you survived the blizzard after all?
I don’t know, Number 6. I don’t know.
Five. Number 5, Mr. Prowell. I’m Number 5, not Six. I don’t think there is a Number 6. Anyway, my question is should we seal or stain the columns?
Sealing the columns is not necessary unless you prefer the aesthetics.. If so, you will probably want to slip out the Plexiglas backing behind the grids before doing so. Also, be certain to give the underside of the Column cap the same seal as the upper, exposed top of the cap. Otherwise it becomes vulnerable to cupping and warping.
* Is that it? How come Number 4 got a whole story with his answer, and he broke your rule about one question per person? I followed your rule and I get no story. Is it because I am a woman? You treat women and men differently?
I apologize, Miss Priss. It could be because you are assuming to be both Number 4 and Number 5 simultaneously. Which is it? Which are you? Because you cannot be both.
* Miss Priss?
Miss Prissy.
* Prissy?
Prissy Bo Bissy?
* My name, for the record, is Rainbow Dove.
Dove. That reminds me of a little incident in Sebastopol back in the early 80’s when Edgar Edgar and his son Edgar Edgar Jr. went dove hunting in the Laguna behind the Ford dealer and their one shot ricocheted off a no-trespassing sign to carom off the side mirror of a new F-150 and eventually clean through the front tire of little Adlai Means’ new tricycle and you’d a thought it was a gang war, given all the hullabaloo. People over-reacted–middle-aged hippies mostly, with names like Rainbow and Dove–and they boycotted the Ford dealer, who had only the one truck to sell anyway, and they had lots of meetings and basic hippy effrontery that resulted in a sign posted on Hwy 116 that said:
Welcome to Sebastopol
Nuclear free zone
Land mine free zone
Drug free zone
Pesticide free zone
Dove-free zone