How are they made?

Mortise and tenon joinery in all the primary joints and floating tenons in the seat and backrest joints. The swings are made to last forever,, essentially, baring the neighborhood kids who mistake your swing for, say, a trampoline. or a roller coaster.

* Hi. Can I interrupt for a minute?

Do you have a number?

* Well, no. I lost it. We’ve been waiting for hours and I, well . . . I lost it. But if I could make a suggestion that you simply answers our questions without all the tangential asides, the line would move a lot quicker.

What’s your question? Quickly now. Others are waiting. Those who haven’t lost their numbers.

* We live in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Do you ship there?

No. Maybe. Well, we ship to Canada when the project warrants. But Halifax . . . I’m suspicious of anywhere ending in X.

* Is that a yes, or a no?

Offhandedly, a yes. If you drop the X in lieu of cks. Halifa-cks. Next.

* Hi. I’m Number 5 and I still have my number. I asked the original question about how they are made before I was interrupted. We were also wanting to order one of your garden gates and arbor, which would be visible from the porch and of course we wanted that and the swing to sort of match.

Number 5? The Number Five from Driveway Gates? Because he is banned, I believe, for breaking the rules.

* Really? You banned him? Anyway I think he was Number 4. Rainbow was Number 5 . . . of the Driveway Gate category. We’re Number 5 of the Swing category, and Number 3 of the Garden Gate category and technically, since Rainbow and Number 4 have combined, it should free up one of their numbers, to be fair.

So you have asked more than one question. You, too, have broken the rules?

* Technically no, if I understand your rules. As Number 3 from one category and Number 5 from another category, we are essentially two. Existentially speaking.

Do you know Rainbow?

* No. I’m Sunshine.. But Rainbow seems nice.

So you do know her. . .

* No. We don’t. But we’ve been waiting a long time. Waiting for our turn, you know, and listening, or reading, what she wrote.

Where there’s Sunshine, there’s Rainbow. I think. We might need Rain. Do you know a Rain?

* No. But I once dated a Cloud.

Does he need a swing? Or a Fence, or something? Anything?

* He went to jail, my Cloud, for impersonating Martha Stewart. I read that somewhere. So you might say he swings the other way, while also in jail where fences wouldn’t be high on his wish list. He might need a shrink. He definitely needs a shrink. Maybe Rainbow could help him.

It’s almost 5. I have to go.

* Almost? I am 5. Remember?

I thought you were 3.

* I’m 5, and 3, from Tennessee.

I have a headache. I have to go home. That’s all for today.